We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
