I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
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Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
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I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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