does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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