I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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