so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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