You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize