why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
