Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
