I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fuck appropriateness.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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