I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
