So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
