oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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