I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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