Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
