i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
