I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
