im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
