I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
