well I can't set my house on fire every night
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think my fart just growled at me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
