I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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