There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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