oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
