I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize