Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
