There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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