Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
