the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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