I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
