mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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