This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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