Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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