sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
