i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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