you would pick up someone in the library
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
