Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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