Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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