Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize