problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
