oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
