So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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