Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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