well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
