Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
as a side note pls kill me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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