Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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