Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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