Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
