i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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