he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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