oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
