That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
