I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize