last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
