I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize