They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She bit a glass in half.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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