The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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