I wannas sexs uuuuu
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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